Friday, 10 April 2009

To A Bosom Friend

The loud shrill of the alarm clock
Wakes me up rudely,
I sit up in my bed………….
……..I just wish & pray in silence……..that……
The soothing morning breeze caress your face,
The tender rays of sun touch you gently
& you wake up with a smile for an enchanting day

I hurry through my chores,
Run to the bus stop & catch my bus
I sit in my seat………….
……… I just wish & pray in silence……….that…….
The time moves a bit slowly
To let you have your morning break-fast leisurely,
Reach your office in-time
& you start off with great enthusiasm

I am tensed & tired hustling through my work
A kind colleague gets me a cup of coffee
I take a sip…’.oh! It’s sugarless’……….
……..… I just wish & pray in silence……..that……
Somebody gets you a hot cup of a perfect special tea
That relieves you of your stress,
Makes you lively & fresh
& you get back to work with a bouncing force

I stand in front of my boss…
Blasting out at me for the mistake I made
I come out of his chamber…….
……….I just wish & pray in silence……..that…..
Your higher-up is a kind, cool man
Wise enough to guide you through your flaws
You complete all your tasks well ahead of deadline
& you are showered with compliments for the job well-done

I get drenched in rain
That lashes ruthlessly as I reach home …..
………..I just wish & pray in silence…..that…..
The winds don’t blow in your face & dark clouds don’t melt
As long as you ride your bike along the highway
& you reach home safe without getting wet


I light the lamps in the pooja room at dusk
The fragrance of incense sticks fills the air……..
…….. I just wish & pray in silence……that…..
Someone kind & beautiful
Lights the lamps at your home
& you lose yourself in the aroma of burning camphor

I again hurry through my chores
Finish of my dinner
I go to my bed exhausted & sleepy……
………. I just close my eyes to sleep
Alas………I can’t!!
I sit up & smile, fold my hands, close my eyes
……….. I just pray & pray & pray in silence……that…….
You get a nice, sound sleep
& all the dreams you get are sweet & beautiful



Now I shout loudly……… ‘GOOD NIGHT’
………..I just want my voice to cross the walls of my home,
Cross the hills & rivers,
Cross the curtains of your window
& reach your ears

My little sister is annoyed,
She peeps out of her blanket & says
………..‘Why are you shouting? Who do you think is deaf?’

Hm…! Can you be deaf?
Can someone who loves to hear ………… the splatter of rains,
……. the rustling of leaves,
……….. the babble of a kid,
……… & enjoys even the sound of a girl clearing her throat……… be deaf??!!

Impossible………
May be, I was deaf and……….. A bit dumb as well

Again I close my eyes
& say in a whisper ………. ‘goodnight my friend’
Now……….
………..hope you heard it………..



[This poem was written almost an year back for a 'Poetry Contest' in a website called 'p4poetry'. The topic given was 'Separation'. & Oh!..........the result....? ofcourse i didnt win...haha. Now, i feel the poem looks very low on 'Poetic qualitites' & is quite repetitive, but am presenting the poem as it was.......without n e editing ]

11 comments:

Mahesh Sindbandge said...

Hey Geetha....

I dont really know what this guys look for in poems....Most of the times they chose such a poem which hardly looks on the track when it comes to theme...
My last posted poem was also meant for poetry competition yaar...
Ofcourse i didnt win u know :) reason bhi bahut hi weird hai....

As for as this poem is concerned compared to all other peoms of yours, frankly speaking it was very different from all previous poems....

The thing which you said as repeatitive, is actually the beauty of this poem...
You know what?
I think thats the only lines which keep reader read the poem cuz they reveal what human mind thinks deeply each time when he/she falls in the situation..

Why it didnt win the competition ? i really dont know but one think i would add is, the ending of the poem is finished as expected...
I think you can try and put some beautiful ending as you do in your poems...
Somthing like "i realized that's how life is and the more i think the more sad i would be, instead of taking it that way, i can enjoy the available beauty of it"...
Hope i was clear and made sense on it...

Keep writing...:)

Cheers...

Geetha said...

hello mahesh,

thanks a lot for such a big first comment :)

First thing, i have no regrets for losing. The poem which won was a beautiful one.

Happy that u liked the repeatations in the poem!

Thanks again for the ending u have suggested. thats quite a good idea. But as i said......i dont want to edit the poem.

ಸಿಮೆಂಟು ಮರಳಿನ ಮಧ್ಯೆ said...

ಗೀತಾರವರೆ...

ಬರಲಿಕ್ಕೆ ತಡ ಆಯಿತು..
ಕೆಲಸದ ಒತ್ತಡ.., ನೆಟ್ ಸಮಸ್ಯೆ....
ಟ್ರಾಫಿಕ್... ಇತ್ಯಾದಿ... ಕ್ಷಮೆ ಇರಲಿ....

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕವನಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಲವಲವಿಕೆ ಇರುತ್ತದೆ..
ಅದು ನನಗಿಷ್ಟ...

ಬಹುಮಾನ ಬರದಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಬೇಸರ ಬೇಡ..
ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕ್ರೀಡಾ ಮನೋಭಾವ ಖುಷಿಯಾಗುತ್ತದೆ....

ಚಂದ್ರಕಾಂತಾ ಮೇಡಮ್ ಊರಲ್ಲಿ ಇಲ್ಲವೋ ಹೇಗೆ...?
ಅವರು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ, ತಾಳ್ಮೆಯಿಂದ ವಿಮರ್ಶೆ ಮಾಡುತ್ತಾರೆ...
ಅವರ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ರಿಯೆಯನ್ನೂ ಮಿಸ್ ಮಾಡಿಕೊಂಡಿರುವೆ...

ಚಂದದ ಕವಿತೆಗೆ...

ಅಭಿನಂದನೆಗಳು...

ಚಂದ್ರಕಾಂತ ಎಸ್ said...

ಗೀತಾ

ಮರಳಿ ಇಂಗ್ಲೀಷ್ ಕವನ ಕೊಟ್ಟಿರುವೆ. ಅದು ವರುಷದ ಹಿಂದೆ ಬರೆದಿರುವುದೆಂದು ಓದಿ ಸಮಾಧಾನವಾಯಿತು:)

ನಿನ್ನ ಇತರ ಕವನಗಳಿಗೂ ಇದಕ್ಕೂ ಇರುವ ಪ್ರಮುಖ ವ್ಯತ್ಯಾಸವೆಂದರೆ ಇಲ್ಲಿ ಭಾವನೆಗಳು ಮಿತಿ ಮೀರಿ ಹೊರಹೊಮ್ಮುವುದಿಲ್ಲ. ಅವುಗಳಿಗೆ ಒಂದು ಲಗಾಮು ತೊಡಿಸಿರುವೆ.

ಮಹೇಶ್ ಹೇಳಿದಂತೆ ಪುನರಾವರ್ತನೆಗೊಳ್ಳುವ ಸಾಲುಗಳು ಅರ್ಥಪೂರ್ಣವಾಗಿದ್ದು ಕವನದ ಸೌಂದರ್ಯ ಹೆಚ್ಚಿಸಿದೆ.

ವಿರಹ- ಥೀಮ್ ಗೆ ಬಹಳ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಹೊಂದುವ ಕವನವಿದು. ಬಹುಮಾನಕ್ಕೂ ಬರವಣಿಗೆಗೂ ಅನೇಕ ಬಾರಿ ಸಂಬಂಧವೇ ಇರುವುದಿಲ್ಲ.

Geetha said...

@ ಸಿಮೆಂಟು ಮರಳಿನ ಮಧ್ಯೆ
ತುಂಬಾ ಧನ್ಯವಾದಗಳು ಸರ್,

ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕೆಲಸದ ಒತ್ತಡಗಳ ನಡುವೆಯು ನನ್ನ ಕವನ ಓದಿ, ಕಮೆಂಟು ಬರೆದಿರುವುದೆ ನನಗೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಸರ್, ಕ್ಷಮೆ ಕೇಳದಿರಿ-ನಾನಿನ್ನು ಸಣ್ಣವಳು.

ನಾನು ನಿಮ್ಮೆಲ್ಲರ ಕಮೆಂಟಿಗೆ ಕಾಯುತ್ತಿದ್ದೆ :)

Geetha said...

@ ಚಂದ್ರಕಾಂತ ಎಸ್ ,

ಕವನ ಮೆಚ್ಚಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಧನ್ಯವಾದಗಳು ಮೇಡಮ್. ಹೊಸದೇನೂ ಬರೆದಿಲ್ಲ - ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಹಳೆಯದೆ ಹಾಕಿದೆ. ಬಹುಮಾನ ಬಂದ ಕವನ ಬಹಳ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿತ್ತು . ಸಾಧ್ಯವಾದರೆ ಈ ಲಿಂಕ್ ನೋಡಿರಿ http://p4poetry.com/2008/10/16/seperation-2/


ಮತ್ತು ನೋಡಿ, ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಮೆಂಟ್ ಕೂಡ ಓದಲು ಇಷ್ಟ ಪಡುತ್ತಾರೆ :)

ಸುಧೇಶ್ ಶೆಟ್ಟಿ said...

ಗೀತಾ ಅವರೇ...

ತು೦ಬಾ ನೇರ ಮತ್ತು ಸರಳವಾಗಿತ್ತು ಕವನ. ಬಹಳ ಇಷ್ಟವೂ ಆಯಿತು.

ಕೆಲವು ವಾಕ್ಯಗಳು ಪುನಾರವರ್ತನೆ ಗೊ೦ಡಿದ್ದರೂ ಅವುಗಳು ಅಭಾಸವನ್ನೇನು ಉ೦ಟುಮಾಡಿಲ್ಲ....

ಚಂದ್ರಕಾಂತ ಎಸ್ said...

ಪ್ರಕಾಶ್ ಅವರೆ

ನಾನು ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ರಿಯಿಸುವೆ ಎಂದಿರುವಿರಿ.ಹಾಗೆಂದುಕೊಂಡಿರುವುದಕ್ಕೆ ಧನ್ಯವಾದಗಳು ( ಅದು ನಿಜ ಅಲ್ಲದಿದ್ದರೂ)

Geetha said...

ಸರಳ ಪದ್ಯವನ್ನು ಮೆಚ್ಚಿದ್ದಕ್ಕೆ ಧನ್ಯವಾದಗಳು ಸುಧೇಶ್ :)

ಸಿಮೆಂಟು ಮರಳಿನ ಮಧ್ಯೆ said...

ಚಂದ್ರಕಾಂತಾರವರೆ...

ನೀವು ನೇರವಾಗಿ... ಹೇಳುತ್ತೀರಿ..
ಅದು ನನಗೆ ಇಷ್ಟ...
ಗೀತಾರವರಿಗೆ ಬರೆದ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಪ್ರತಿಕ್ರಿಯೆಗಳನ್ನೂ
ಓದುತ್ತಿರುತ್ತೇನೆ...
ನೀವು ತಿದ್ದುವ ರೀತಿ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗಿರುತ್ತದೆ...

raji said...

hi geetha,
i read ur poem ..it was nice ..but were u tryingto potray that u were missing" someone .. the theme actually expected "viraha"is it?